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Showing posts from 2017

Musings 1317.344 How to be defiant

This weekend I watched The Defiant Ones, a four part documentary  highlighting Dr Dre, Jimmy Iovine and their relationship spanning several years (perhaps a play on the Sidney Poitier, Tony Curtis movie of the same name). The entire thing was about 4 hours, was well produced, informative and entertaining. I came away from it feeling two things: How these men from very different backgrounds crossed paths to do amazing things together, in the entertainment industry and beyond as well as inspired.  Talking with the Hubz he felt the same way, it's as if it were saying, " you need to stop wasting time, get up and make something of your life before it's too late!"  The long standing question has always been there, in the back of my mind while I get up at 5:15am, commute 40 minutes to work, one way, grinding away at the cube farm for a paycheck.  But what exactly is that thing? Hubz says he was never encouraged to be anything other than someone who works a regular job and

Musings 1317.297 3:00 am feeding

Deep night is one of the most frustrating times  for me. For some reason this is the hour that my brain opens up to the cosmos and ideas flood in. I should be sleeping at that time because I have to get up at 5:15 to for work. Normally, if I don't record these ideas, by the light of day it's all gone. The how, what, and why seems most clear during this time, one of the reasons I think I'm such a night owl. If I don't have to be anywhere the next day it's not unusual to stay up until sunrise. My husband says I should get a night job but being creative is a job, one that unfortunately I don't get paid for. Yet.

Musings 1317.296 Creatively blocked

Artistic angst is real. Lately I've felt so stifled artistically. I give everything I've got to job and family and there's nothing left, time nor energy to create. If I have to be there for everyone else, who'll be there for me? I'm alone, adrift on an artistic wasteland. Have you ever felt lost and blocked, restricted about to burst from frustration? I feel a tug of war between the people in my life, on one side supportive and encouraging but on the other not really understanding my urge for more, don't know how to support and want me to stay in the box with them because it's all they know. After all misery loves company right? I'm too claustrophobic for that fucking box, it's crowded, suffocates me and feels like its causing  a slow and painful death. I need to create but the palpable pain of not being able to harness the gift, to express it is like walking around with your hands tied together all the time. The anxiety sometimes grips me by

Musings 1317.279 Balancing the days

What happened to my weekend? With 4 days off I'm going to get so much done. Right. I always try to work my PTO days around a holiday when the offices are closed. If the  observance day falls on Monday I tend to take the Friday off. This way I get two short work  weeks split up by a long weekend. I had good intentions of getting some long overdue projects completed. I was going to clear out my closet, do some much needed mending to my clothes, get rid of things that don't fit or I don't wear anymore and work on my CAD techniques. A little more than a week ago I had a late night incident which resulted in a hairline fracture of my 4th toe on my right foot. Within the last week I've figured out how to drive with my big toe, use my left foot  to brake and gotten my limp down to barley noticeable when I walk. I still can't wear a closed toe shoe (trust me, I've tried) but I've come a long way. The first day was nothing but naps  broken up by a lot of ch

Musings 1317.267 Make it look good

But I want it pretty! One of the first frustrations I had/am having with blogging (besides how to make it seem interesting) is the way it looks. No offense to blogger (it is free after all) but the templates just don't do it for me. I'm a visual learner and my blog template is, in a word, basic. The formatting is so erratic (this post included, which is why it looks this way. I gave up) and even after screwing with it, preview after preview, once it goes live it changes again! The most infuriating, frustrating thing you've ever seen. And forget compiling in Word or anything similar. Copy and paste actually makes it worse. I thought I'd finally figured out how to control it while working on a post a few weeks ago, but as soon as I tried the same technique with the next one it was all over the place again. It's not just me either, Sabrina B of , another new blogger has had the same frustrations. And trying to find help is just as crazy.

Musings 1317.264 Blog, sure why not

This blog game is serious! I'm so thankful for all the support and info from my veteran blog friends When I first decided to start blogging I had all kinds of apprehensions but was still curious enough to educate myself about it. But what to talk about? Mark Twain said there are no original ideas and there already are lots of blogs out there about art. So I figured fuck it. isn't necessarily special but it's mine and I enjoy putting these art posts together, deciding what to feature while learning new things because I needed something besides the sometimes soul killing grind of working for a paycheck to keep me sane and creative. Here in Musings, I go into how exploring, researching, compiling, and organizing on this road to discovery and improvement are helping to challenge and flex my brain to keep it from turning into mush . Besides, I've always enjoyed learning  new things and expanding my brain. After all, knowledge is power. Ri ght? Th